Damn it... I have measles.... So it wasn't just some allergy... I'm actually sick....

I"m really really sick.... I'm sick of feeling like i'm the one to blame.... I'm sick of allowing other people make me feel like i'm the bad one.... Damn it all...

I'm down with the measles plus i'm very depressed....

I should have known that my happy moment with Gerrie will be short lived... Right now, he's the reason for all this stupid shit i'm in...

Ok... Maybe i shouldn't be blaming him.... I guess i'm really the one who's wrong here.... But all i did was fall for him... Is that a crime?? Was it my fault that he seems like the ideal guy for me??

I guess it would have been easier for all of us if i hadn't said anything to Grace.... I knew she likes him too... Still, the way she spoke to me last night made me feel bad.... It sounds like she's blaming me for all the pain she's feeling.... Yeah, and i feel so damn guilty about it... She actually made me feel like shit....

Damn... I hate pointing fingers at anybody.... I don't want to bad-mouth people especially friends of mine.... I don't like feeling this way.... For crying out loud, it wasn't my fault in the first place.... For one thing, we haven't spoke with each other for months now.... Damn it... I really shouldn't care about stuff like these....

Damn it... My measles will be gone after a week.... I just hope this shit goes away with my measles....

KATH: Badtrip.... Yung ex ko nasa KFC din kanina nung nandun tayo...

GERRIE: Ok lang yan... Nandun naman ako eh....

Oh God.... When i woke up this morning, i knew that it was gonna be a bad day....

First, i thought i had chiclen pox.... I saw that my body was covered with these red spots... It turned out that it was only an allergy or something like that.... Whatever....

Then this afternoon Kate told me to meet them at around 1pm.... Geez.... I spent two hours watching jeepneys, cars, buses and LRTs pass by.... Yes, she showed up at around 2:30pm.... You can say that i'm really irritated....

See, as much as possible i don't like making people wait for me.... Because i don't want to wait either..... My Spanish blood is showing here.... I'm really impatient.... You can't expect me to wait for you for hours when i can be doing something productive with my time.... Puhleez.... I mean it's really annoying....

Finally, that damn xmas carol thingy is over and done with.... The term is only over.... I can't believe that this is finally the last week of classes... Plus, there's no classes on Wednesday.... Yipee.... Still, there's a downside to every story.... I have two quizzes tomorrow which i still haven't studied for..... Remind me again how lazy i am.... Oh, and there's still that damn presentation in macroeconomics class.... I still can't believe that i did the written report by myself....

I want this term to end but i don't want to take the finals either..... There's too much to study!!!! Remind me again not to take too many economics subjects and finance subjects at the same time.... That's the bad thing about being a double major--studying for a lot of things with different fields at the same time.... Talk about some major brain draining effects..... I'll be glad when this term is really over.....

I'll be spending my xmas break in Palawan..... Why my Tia decided to spend our xmas there is beyond my knowledge.... I don't even know what we'll do there.... I mean, it's too damn cold to go swimming at this time of the year.... But i don't want to be left home alone during xmas so i decided to go with them.... We'll be there for a week so i guess i won't be writing anything here from December 23 until January 2.... I hope i'll have lots to tell by the time i'm back from the holidays....

Hmm.... I still don't have a xmas present for my bestfriend.... Somehow, my mind's gone blank.... I usually know hwat to give him but this time i'm really clueless.... I guess this is the effect of spending lesser time together.... I mean, we barely talk these past few days.... The only time we can catch up on each other is thru text messaging..... I barely see him in school too.... And to think that we have a class together.... I miss him....

I'm really good at fishing for information.... But lately, i'm losing my touch.... I've been asking Gerrie's help regarding my gift dilemma, hoping that he'll say what he wants to get for xmas.... To make this story short:

After a lot of exchanged text messages, i still have no idea what to get Tyrone for xmas plus i don't know what Gerrie wants too... He won't give me a straight answer..... Scratch that.... He won't say anything.... It's either he knows that i'm fishing for info or he don't know what he wants or he don't want anything.... More likely, it's either the first or second one....
Last Christmas by Wham

Hmm.... The nasty typhoon yoyong had done some good after all.... Well, students were able to rest for two days since classes had been suspended.... But i guess we'll have to take some makeup classes for that... Oh well... Still, the typhoon's bad effects got me feeling really bad.... What a disaster.... And to think that it's almost christmas.... Oh well.... I'm not a big fan of christmas anyway.... But still.... I hope that's the last typhoon for the year.... We've had enough calamities for this year already....

I just slept the whole day last thursday.... I barely left my bed.... I was in pajamas the whole day.... Gerrie and my bestfriend kept me company through text messages.... The electricity got cut off in our area due to the string winds.... We experienced the brownout rom afternoon til dawn.... Those damn mosquitoes kept biting my skin.... Grr....

Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 21)
You have a revengeful streak and a long memory for past hurts. Sometimes you're downright spiteful. When you suffer, you make sure others suffer along with you. Sometimes, you may even use deception to get what you want and to influence others to stay out of your way. You may even believe these untruths and unrealistic fears will grow on you. Once in a while, you may come across someone that just rubs you on the wrong side for no apparent reason and you make it your mission to bury him or her. Advice: Flight the negative emotions that arise in you, and resentment will not sour your life. Don't' give into temptation to tell lies, learn to conquer your strong tendency towards revenge and things will fall into place for you.

How true.... That's very accurate... That really shows how bratty i can be... haha.... I really have a revengeful streak.... That's why you don't want me as an enemy.... If you annoy me, believe me, i'll do something annoying to you too.... haha.... Sorry, i'm just born that way, it seems.... But being a brat has some benefits too...

My life's pretty calm today.... Nothing bad happened yet....

You won't believe my FINACCT prof.... She actually wants us to report about financial statements by singing christmas carols.... She wants us to use our favorite christmas carol then alter the lyrics.... So we'll be singing our reports..... To make things worse, our group is the first to report.... Damn....

Geez.... I can't answer a damn thing in the exam earlier this day.... I'm so spaced out.... It's like my mind keeps drifting on to other things....

Since saturday night, i noticed that the moon is full.... It was fun looking at it through my window.... It felt nice to dream that way.... Too bad there's no stars present.... Maybe because it was too cloudy.... Or maybe it's because of too much pollution.... Whatever.... I love staring at the sky at night.... It makes me feel sentimental and peaceful at the same time....

Anyway, i feel really inspired by the moon, i decided to paint it.... It looked nice if you ask me.... That's the only artistic thing i'm good at.... I'm not very good in drawing especially using pencils... I'm bad at that stuff.... Weird huh??

As usual, i met Jojo during the weekend.... He's really cute.... It's as if he's getting cuter every week.... We talked about almost everything..... But i still get the feeling that he's avoiding THE topic.... I guess he don't want to talk about it anymore.... Okay, maybe i should put all that behind me now.... I feel like i'm holding on to something that has already been dead for a long time.... Well, except for that issue, we're doing just fine....

Btw, i have a modeling stint this weekend.... I'm not sure about the details yet.... But i'm sure that it's on saturday.... I'm excited about it....

I had a little argument with my cousin this morning.... We're actually arguing about her stupid Math assignment..... More particularly about the subtrahend and the minuend.... I can't believe that we fought over something as trivial as that....